I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
