Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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