ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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