Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
