Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
