I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
