I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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