How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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