How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
