fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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