Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
