grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
