Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
