heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
