If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
