The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
