Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
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