hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
