do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
