69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
