He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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