So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
