I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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