Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
