1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
