i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
What drink are we having for lunch?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
