I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
