We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
