so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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