hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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