i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
