Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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