Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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