I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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