and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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