we have officially lost it.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
