I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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