we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize