angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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