she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
