yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
