Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
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