this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
