she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
