I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
