it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
