I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
