She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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