Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Houston, we have a squirter
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
