OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize