who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
