GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
