i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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