May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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