i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests đ
I should have known it wouldnât work. Someone saved in her phone as âSubway Sexâ called the week before the wedding
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