At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
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